Saturday, January 2, 2010

Shut the Fuck Up, Ted Nugent

Hi there. Welcome to Shut the Fuck Up, Ted Nugent, where I will be telling this gentleman to shut the fuck up on a regular basis.

Clearly, someone needs to be telling this asshole to shut his stupid-assed mouth. Even knowing nothing about his politics or his lifestyle, you can tell he's way overdue for some STFU.

Now, a few of you may be wondering, "Why? Isn't this the guy who wrote 'Cat Scratch Fever'? What's your problem with him?" A fair enough question. Putting his horrendous, racist politics aside (and I'll only be putting them aside briefly, believe me), Ted seems like a fun guy. He's outdoorsy, manic, and loves rock and roll. But make no mistake: the badass, rebellious troublemaker is nothing more than a character, and a caricature at that, no more based in reality than Larry the Cable Guy or Jar Jar Binks. Ted likes to pretend he's a hardass psycho who's not afraid of anything; why, then, did he go to such great lengths to dodge the draft when called upon to serve his country? Ted also likes to pretend that he's some kind of master hunter / survivalist extraordinaire; why, then, does he organize and lead canned hunts, which any true hunter knows are too despicably easy to qualify as hunting? And finally, to get back to his politics, why does this supposedly staunch arch-conservative feel that everyone else needs to live by morals he himself has never even tried to live up to?

Playing dress-up is fun when you need to feel pretty, but not so good when you expect people to take your playtime games seriously. Ted Nugent is a bullshitter, a hypocrite, a pretender, and above all else, a gigantic pussy. Someone needs to be telling him to shut his fucking lying whore face on a regular basis, so that's what I'll be doing. Enjoy!

No comments:

Post a Comment